Have you ever thought about how your emotions change throughout the day? Some days it feels like you’re simply angry all day and some days just feel like a blur. There are actually many apps available to track your mood these days. Why do they exist? Partly so we can get to know ourselves better but also because we can use our emotional journeys to better plan our days. After all, it’s about learning to manage your emotions and not the other way round.

What are Emotions? 

I’m not going to pretend I can do justice do decades of psychology and neuroscience research in a couple of sentences. Although, at a very basic level, emotions are responses to triggers that can either be external or internal. Our bodies are constantly relaying information to our brains that could be as simple as an update on how the digestion of your lunch is going. 

Nowadays, many people will have heard of the amygdala hijack. Essentially, the idea is that a little almond-sized area of your brain that sits more or less behind your eyes plays a big part in our fight or flight response. It’s actually a bit of an oversimplified view of what really happens but it’s a useful framework. In fact, there’s a lot more that goes on within our brains and one thing we have learnt from neuroscience is that we can’t single out different sections within the brain to equal separate actions or emotions. So, for instance, the amygdala does have other functions such as thinking and memory. Regardless, we get triggered by something because our brains are designed to help us survive and that translates into emotions.

Why is this useful? 

Essentially, we don’t have to be overwhelmed by our emotions and we can do things to improve how we manage them with time. As mentioned, your internal systems relay information to your brains all the time. That’s why a healthy diet is so important. It improves the positive signals to your mind, so to speak. Basically, if you eat and sleep well then you’ll improve your internal balance and your mood will be more positive. 

Another approach is to change to better manage your emotions is to change your situation and improve your mood. This isn’t always possible  of course. Nevertheless, have you noticed that when you’re feeling low and you don’t feel like doing anything but you still go for a walk then your mood improves? Activity also helps us release positive hormones into our brains so we’re essentially tricking our minds. 

Our Past Impacts our Emotions

Our brains are incredible tools that learn and adapt. This can also go against us because bad experiences when we grew up can lead to reactions in our adult lives. So if your parents ignored your successes for example, you might have grown up as a high acheiver. Whilst there’s nothing wrong with acheiving, it can sometimes be at the cost of our internal balance and contentment. We can use it as a mask for low self-esteem in many cases. 

The good news is that you can change how you interpret situations and what emotions are deemed important by your mind. Naturally, this takes time and patience but it’s worth the effort. Even little steps can bring huge change. 

1- Accept your Negative Emotions with curiosity 

External and internal triggers create emotions and physiological responses such as an increased heart rate. We then usually attach meaning to whatever emotion it is with our thoughts. This might sound strange but thoughts are not something you control. They are simply your brain trying to interpret what’s going on.

If instead of listening and believing your thoughts, you tried to observe the experience with curiosity then you’ll create some distance with those thoughts. So, what emotion is coming up and where are you feeling it? Is it in your stomach or your chest perhaps? Being curious is the fist step to getting to know your emotions and thought patterns. Only then can you work on reframing them and creating new ones. With practice, you’ll get better at understanding your emotions and it will be easier to manage your emotions.

2- Practice self-care during the lows and maximise the highs 

How does this relate to planning your day? Negative emotions actually have a very useful purpose. They are there to warn you that something is wrong. If you then believe that nothing around you is necessarily wrong then say to yourself “it’s just an emotion, just a thought and like everything, it will pass”. With time you’ll find that you can observe your thoughts as a third person rather than as one caught up in the drama of those thoughts. 

Take Time Out to Achieve More

You’ll then enter a phase of acceptance that thoughts are simply thoughts that you don’t have to give importance to. So, when you have a low point, be kind to yourself and do something easier in that moment. This is about managing your energy flow throughout the day. If it means asking yourself what you need then so be it. Perhaps that’s a walk around outside or a cup of green tea or half an hour of gardening. Whatever it is, you’ll find yourself refreshed afterwards and able to do more with yourself again. Sometimes we need to take time out to achieve more and create more space in our lives.