What do you answer when someone asks you how you are? Do you simply say “busy”, smile and rush off? Deep down, do you enjoy being busy? After all, it’s a huge adrenaline and dopamine rush. These are both linked to getting things ticked off your to-do list and to the excitement of fixing problems. Sometimes it really does feel like you’re running into a burning building to save people. And it’s fun.I know, I’ve been there. But what about the dark side of busyness? Are you aware of what you’re hiding behind it?
Being Busy
Many of us come from a world where busyness is a good thing. Somehow we’ve connected it with being intelligent and effective. Do you remember being told to not waste your timing doing nothing when growing up? These days, we’re also constantly connected to a device. Although, who decided that notifications were a good idea? What’s wrong with just checking your messages when you decide rather than when someone demands your time?
You’ll instinctively know that being too busy leads to lack of sleep and exercise and yet, it almost becomes a mantra. The bad news is that it means that we’re not living and we miss the important stuff. When was the last time you really stopped and listened to your child or watched them smiling? How much exercise or walking do you do? When was the last time you did something for yourself or read a book?
The Dangers of Busyness
Being busy leads to stress and even burnout. It can also become addictive and you’ll find yourself stuck in a vicious circle of stress, busyness and anxiety. Our minds need rest and space to recover. Having said that, of course it’s not about going totally the opposite way. It’s also a well-known fact that people who retire with nothing to do start losing their motivation and energy to even keep going. As always, it’s about striking the right balance.
How to Stop Being Controlled by your Busyness?
Naturally, finding balance is about focusing and doing the right things that are important to you.
1- Daily Timelessness
Losing sense of time and its linearity has long been discussed in psychology and today there are various studies going on about how altered states of mind help mental issues. Essentially, there’s something liberating and healing about losing our sense of time as well as ourselves. The experience also allows us to let go of our little problems and to see the bigger picture.
The good news is that you can actually create this for yourself very easily. Simply daydreaming and looking out of the window helps you cultivate a sense of being connected to something larger than ourselves. Then there’s meditation and mindfulness. It’s not easy sitting with your mind but science is finally catching up at noticing the long term benefits.
Meditation reduces your cravings and mindfulness helps boosts your immune system, to pick just two examples. Of course studies are still ongoing but are those the kind of benefits you want to ignore?
2- Reframe ‘Being’ as a Helpful State
Meditation and mindfulness don’t involve just sitting around doing nothing. On the contrary, you’re training your mind to sit in the present and to accept things as they are. Through that, you get to learn about yourself and the many habits of thought that you’ve developed over the years. As the brain can be rewired, you can then change those habits and generally become more skilled in dealing with life and its challenges.
Pause for a Second and Be Honest with Yourself
Busyness is often a mask that we wear to numb ourselves or to avoid getting to know who we are or to face our fears. It’s hard being human. The more you pause and listen to the habits of your mind though, then the less likely you’ll need to hide. With time, you’ll start accepting yourself and your life for what it is and you’ll feel peace gradually entering your mind. Of course, you can carry on with your busyness but either your body will eventually give in or your mind will continue in its heightened stress state such that you can never truly enjoy or live your life. The fog will never lift. You’ll continue stumbling through not understanding why you have these burdens nor knowing how to remove them. On the flip side, take time to be in the present, experience timelessness and you’ll start reconnecting with the world and yourself. With practice, you’ll feel freer and happier.
