Do you ever catch your mind going round and round in circles repeating various forms of a recent situation? Perhaps you should have said something differently or simply said something? If only you’d remembered that birthday or appointment … there are so many scenarios over which we can get lost. Did you know though that ruminating can lead to stress? Most people assume that this mental looping is normal and whilst it is perfectly normal, it’s also unhealthy and unhelpful. The good news though is that you can stop ruminating with some simple tools.
Are you Stressed?
Most of us appreciate that stress is when you constantly worry, you feel irritable and you have physical pains with lack of sleep. There are other symptoms but ruminating is one of the perhaps less well-known causes of stress.
In fact, many people don’t even realise they’re stressed https://www.muhealth.org/our-stories/sorry-tell-you-your-weirdest-symptoms-may-just-be-stress and then suddenly they get rush off to hospital for an operation that came out of the blue. You body always knew though and stress was slowly building up internal issues so it’s worth tuning in to get a sense of how balanced you really are.
Why Ruminating is a Stress Trigger
When you’re stuck in a mental loop, you’ll probably remember that it’s usually a negative one. These loops tend to berate us for something we should have done or said. Not only is that depressing but it’s also mentally damaging. You start feeling helpful so that your brain shuts down. Suddenly you can’t problem solve, you start withdrawing and other problems start growing as your stress starts building. Today, neuroscience further confirms that rumination shuts down our cognitive abilities.
There’s a wonderful Pali word from the ancient Buddhist scripts that refers to rumination as Papanca. The c is pronounced like the ‘ch’ in chew or challenge. Somehow ‘papanca’ conveys so much more though because some translators use words such as exaggeration, mental proliferation and conceptual elaboration. Yes, we are using our minds to expand our concepts and reality into an obstacle. Perhaps that sounds weird but if you think about it makes sense. Essentially, the even is over but our minds have blown it up into a huge loop that stops us moving forwards and even shuts down our cognitive abilities.
Stop Ruminating
You’ll read many ways to help you reduce your rumination and even one of my previous blogs on feelings of being overwhelmed can help you. Nevertheless, many talk about using distractions to shut down your mental loop although I personally think that just delays the loop. It then comes back in full force when you least expect it.
That’s why the following tips seem to be the most powerful and long-lasting:
1- Acceptance and mindfulness
Many probably think of mindfulness as meditation but actually, meditation is only one of the tools to help you be more mindful. One of my other favourites is the 5-4-3-2-1 exercise where you use your other senses to ground you to the moment and get you out of your head.
It’s also very simple – name 5 things you can see, 4 you can feel with your body such as clothes, shoes, etc, 3 you can hear, 2 you can smell and 1 that you can taste. I love the simplicity of this exercise and whilst it’s often used for anxiety, it’s also brilliant for helping you see the world through your other senses rather than just with the mind. Yes, the mind can be seen as a sense too.
Seeing the mind as another sense is a useful description of the mind to enable you to create some distance with it such that you have the observing mind and the thinking mind. More on that in a later blog but basically, observing your thoughts means that it’s easier to watch them float away rather than holding on to them. After all, you are not your thoughts.
2- Self-esteem
Next time you ruminate, notice how it’s all negative chat that’s usually against you. That’s why building up your self-esteem can be a valuable exercise. This means having an innate and deep sense of self-worth. By believing in ourselves, including our humanness and mistakes, it becomes easier to break the cycle of rumination by simply stating “I made a mistake, it’s over, let’s move on”.
Of course you can reframe negative thoughts into positive ones and list your strengths and accomplishment to build your self-esteem Nevertheless, one of my favourite and relatively easy exercises is to do a daily self-esteem journal.
3- Problem solve
As mentioned, when you ruminate, you tend to shut down parts of your mind, usually the problem-solving parts. It’s a little trickier to do but you can force yourself to sit down and problem solve when you feel stuck in your mental loop. This will help you feel more positive about a way forwards and essentially stop ruminating. The best way to do that is just like for any problem and answer the following questions:
- What is the problem?
- Where did it happen?
- When was it?
- Why did it happen?
- How can you overcome the problem?
- Who do you need to help you?
- When will you know this is solved?
What are you Going to Do to Stop Ruminating and Find Peace of Mind?
The first step is always to be aware and observe. From there, you can even develop the ability to laugh at your thoughts as you watch them float away so freeing you from rumination. What’s your approach going to be though? Are you going to practice mindfulness or work on building your self esteem? Whatever it is, baby steps and perseverance will get through to a new way of being and thinking.
