Does the idea of sitting quietly on your own terrify you? Perhaps it just sounds like a stupid thing to do? Then again, do you get bored easily and are you constantly moving around? It’s actually one of life’s tragedies that we no longer know how to sit with ourselves. So much so that we distract ourselves with endless to-do lists that also make us highly stressed. Instead, you could get to know your mind to better maximise your potential and actually be happy with your life.
Self-Awareness
“To know oneself is to discover a place of quiet confidence. To know this confidence is to be able to fearlessly express our potential” by Andy from Headspace.
Essentially, Andy is saying that the more we can sit quietly with ourselves, the more we increase our self-awareness. We start connecting more deeply with all our feelings and emotions in our internal world. That way we can better self-regulate and with time, even become wiser in our life choices which will maximise your potential.
Boredom or Fear of Silence?
There’s nothing wrong with a bit of TV now and again but if you find it’s the only thing you ever do in your free time then perhaps you should ask yourself some questions. What are you trying to avoid? Boredom is a form of stimulation in the sense that it pushes us to do things like watch TV or eat compulsively. Instead, what if you just sat with that awkward feeling of boredom or even silence? You might be surprised at the details you start noticing of the world around you.
Know yourself
How can you discover your true desires and truly understand your capabilities? What habits of the mind stop you from progressing in your life and not maximise your potential? Do you know how much your self-view is influenced by what others say about you? What else has influenced and shaped who you are?
Why should we care about all these questions? Answering them will not only allow you to better direct your life into doing things you actually enjoy but it will also stop you from getting overwhelmed by emotions. If you’re sometimes surprised by your own anger then now could be the time to get to know your mind and understand the triggers impacting your emotions. This is actually also one of the best ways to build self-esteem which will then necessarily lead to you be able to maximise your potential.
1- Pause and Stop
Before you do anything else, you focus on learning to stop and simply sit. This means no phones, no music, no TV … of course, it can be helpful to be outside in nature but just make sure you’re comfortable. Then, just watch what happens.
You might get stressed that you’re not doing anything and so become very fidgety. Alternatively, your mind might go into overdrive going through the to-do list waiting for you. At this point, some people like to write their thoughts down but if this feels too much, just ask yourself a few self-reflective questions to get started.
Some of my favourites from that link are:
- Am I living true to myself?
- What scares me most?
- What do I love about life?
2- Listen to your inner voice
If you’ve ever wondered what someone else’s inner voice sounds like, the chances are that it’s very similar to yours. We all berate ourselves in various ways or over-worry about things we can’t control. Then again, as I was working through this process myself, I came to realise that my inner voice was my Mother’s voice with her never-ending insults from when I was growing up. Knowing that though made it easier to quieten her.
Either way, we all have a constant stream of thoughts, otherwise known as the Default Mode Network. Sadly, many of our internal voices tell us that we’re not good enough so there’s no point in trying. This then becomes reality. That’s why sitting with ourselves and listening to our inner critic to then work on reframing it is key to giving ourselves the space we need for our potential.
It takes a bit of patience and practice but you can reframe your inner judgements by first observing them with curiosity. Then, consider the evidence for and against the point that your inner judge is stating. Of course no one is perfect and yes, we’ve made mistakes but what about all the other good points? It’s easy to forget those. So, reframe your inner critic by acknowledging any mistakes and then stating your own phase such as “I am good enough”, “I can try anything I want”, or anything else that works for you.
3- Self-reflection and co-learning
Whilst self-reflection is important, so is cross-checking with others. Feedback from others comes with its own set of biases but you can spot trends in what people say and to use those as learning points. This is particularly powerful to do with someone else, whether a trusted friend or coach. That way you can bounce ideas in a safe environment and test out other ways of thinking or approaching problems. It’s about not getting stuck in one way of doing things but instead, practicing the art of being open and willing to adapt. The more you give your mind the chance to change, the easier it will be to see even more opportunities for your own growth and success.
What’s Next for You and Your Potential?
Knowing our capabilities and appreciating what we offer to the world comes with self-awareness which is built from knowing our mind. It isn’t easy to sit with our minds because we suddenly become so aware of the dark thoughts and weird loops that we sometimes get stuck in. Not being aware of them though means being controlled by them.
Isn’t it better to face our fear, get to know our minds and that way liberate ourselves from the endless noise in our heads? It never really completely disappears but we can create a welcome gap from the chatter and so give ourselves more breathing space. In the end, you’ll feel calmer and more prepared to take on whatever life throws at you next.
