If you’re anything like me then you often find yourself running around for others. Whether that’s taking kids or dogs to various appointments or helping someone at work, it’s easy to forget what we need. I have to constantly remind myself that, regardless of my day, I can still give myself at least 10 minutes. So, what’s your 10 minutes for yourself today?
I previously wrote a blog detailing the 8 aspects of wellness and how you can look at each of the themes to cultivate balance in your life. It seems logical to take care of ourselves, right? And yet, we all struggle with it.
If you truly can’t find 10 minutes for yourself everyday then the question you should be asking yourself is ‘what’s blocking you?’. For me, it was guilt. I was conditioned throughout my childhood to believe that constantly doing something for others was the right thing to do. I therefore felt guilty and selfish if I thought about my self even for a minute.
I’m not going to lie, it takes a long time to reprogram that thinking. Several decades ago, we didn’t think it was possible but luckily we have now shown that the brain can be rewired. So, be patient with yourself and start with 10 minutes everyday even if it feels weird at first.
How to Build in 10 Minutes for Yourself Everyday
1- Start with 1 theme – what’s your priority?
Which of the 8 do you want to start with? If 8 seems like too many then you can simplify to emotional, social, physical and professional care.
For example, are there any hobbies you want to spend more time on? Do you spend enough time with friends? Are you saying ‘no’ at work when you need to and are you taking enough breaks? Can you take a walk outside everyday for 10 minutes? Or round your block?
2- Include it in your to-do list and tick it off when it’s done
Whatever you decide then make sure you include it in your to-do list and even in your calendar. The more you book it in and make it part of your day then the more likely you are to get it done. I also like to tag it onto another habit that I have such as making myself a cup of tea.
So, I’ll go for a walk with the anticipation of my cup of tea for when I get back in. You’re giving yourself a bit of a dopamine boost when you do this which is a natural happy chemical that gets triggered in our brains when we achieve something and reward ourselves.
3- Dealing with guilt and shame
Yeah, this one is always going to be a tough one and feelings of shame and guilt are never easy although don’t let that put you off. It’s amazing how quickly you feel the small steps of progress. For me, it was all about journaling and you can find some here although these are some of the prompts I’ve previously used:
- What have I done for others and for myself this week?
- How do I feel balanced?
- How does being balanced help others?
- What is my inner critic telling me and what evidence do I have to counteract its points?
4- If that doesn’t work then explore your stress
We all feel stress at some point in our lives and some of us feel it constantly. If you’re feeling blocked from moving forwards and taking care of yourself then there’s a chance that you’re stressed. You then end up in a vicious circle where you can’t look after yourself because you’re too stressed.
The first step is to explore your stress whether it’s a combination of daily hassles, a recent traumatic event or other circumstances such as financial or health issues. Depending on the severity of your situation you should consider talking to a coach or a therapist. Talking to someone is always hugely beneficial.
Having said that, there is a lot you can do by yourself including breathing exercises or even mindfulness and meditation if you feel up to it. For me, it has made such a huge impact on my peace of mind that I can’t imagine life without it. I appreciate that it’s not for everyone so find the activity that works for you for 10 minutes everyday. You know what you love doing and what re-energises you. Now it’s simply a matter of allocating those 10 minutes.
Choose the Rocky Path with 10 Minutes for Yourself Today
I’m never sure if it’s a good thing or not that there’s no magic wand. If it was all too easy then would there be a sense of growth and progress? If we were all born stress-free and grounded then what would life look like? Would life be too boring? Would we ever want to get up and do anything? Maybe the fact that we have to find our own balance of doing and being is the challenge and joy of life? I’m not sure but either way, we have no choice. It is what it is.
So, do you want to choose to get sucked up into your endless vicious circle of mental chatter and stress? Or do you want to choose the rocky path of balance? And I mean ‘rocky’. I’m proud to say that I’ve turned over all those rocks with everything from coaching to therapy, mindfulness and meditation.
A blend of it all is what’s worked for me but what’s going to work for you? Trial and error is often the best way for you to move forwards on your own path. Either way, a great first step though is to find your 10 minutes for yourself today.
