As one of my coachees tried to convince me this week that he only felt his emotions in his head, I wondered about our doom to live disembodied lives. Somehow we’ve created a world where most of us live in the cognitive, completely detached from our sensations and bodily emotions. And yet, we are natural beings with a body, mind and soul who can only live fulfilled lives by connecting to all three.
Body, Mind and Soul
The mind is a clever tool. It makes us imagine all sorts of things, more specifically that we are the centre of the universe with the mind as our master. Why do think centuries of Western philosophers, psychologists and even today’s neuroscientists are looking for consciousness in the mind? Of course, that’s a much bigger topic but when considering mere emotions, the mind makes us think that it controls them all. Nevertheless, emotions happen in the body and are only interpreted by the mind.
As psychotherapist Babette Rothschild explains in her book, The Body Remembers, emotions are experienced across the whole body as skeletal and visceral muscle contractions that are then sent to the brain as nerve signals. As she succinctly describes, emotions are an elaborate interconnecting mesh between the sensory along with the autonomic and somatic nervous systems.
Why Does It Matter?
Without connecting to our bodily experiences, we risk letting the mind control us by misinterpreting what’s really happening. Have you ever noticed how when something bad happens or someone ignores you, you immediately assume it’s about something you’ve said or done? The mind’s job is to make everything about you in order to try to protect you. The truth is that it rarely is about only you. If, on the other hand, you can connect to your bodily sensations and just experience the emotions without jumping to conclusions, you’re more likely to stop yourself from overreacting.
Considering the soul is perhaps a more complex subject that overlaps with religion and spirituality. It’s almost as if everyone has to find their own definition that works for them. Nevertheless, the common point seems to be around the concept of self. That inner piece of us that could be energy, ethereal or simply consciousness that represents who we truly are without biases, neuroses or fears.
This is where there’s an interesting separation when regarding Eastern versus Western thinking. In the West, the self is fixed and part of our separate identities and something that we hold onto. Conversely, in Buddhism, the self is an illusion that is created by attachment and clinging that we can liberate ourselves from, so reducing our suffering, by deconstructing that illusion and letting it go. As an avid meditator and follower of Buddhism, I’m more aligned with the second version. Although, perhaps it’s not a question of either or but of how we can hold the paradox of having both a separate identity to operate effectively in society whilst learning to let go of attachment to that identity and transcending such concepts altogether.
How Can You Reconnect Body, Mind and Soul?
Mindfulness, along with meditation, is one of the most powerful tools to help us be present with what is rather than what the mind thinks should or should not be. It isn’t easy to jump into those practices though so perhaps these tips will help you start:
1- Anchor through the body
If you haven’t noticed already, the mind has an incredible ability to time travel. Within seconds, you’ll be lost in some parallel universe in the future or stuck in the past. Unless you’re a brain in a vat though, we have a body for a reason. It’s a powerful connector to nature, the ground and our environment in general. All our 5 senses experience the world and rather than getting lost in the mind, we can use those senses to bring us back.
What can you smell right now? Perhaps there’s a bird or a sunset near you that you haven’t noticed? Use your senses to be in the present. If you want a more structured approach, try the 5-4-3-2-1 exercise which is still my favourite. You’ll find it with these other grounding techniques to help you connect with your body such that your mind takes a back seat.
2- Interoception
Can you feel your heart beating inside you? What about your liver and kidneys? Yes, some people can actually feel those within them, known as interoceptive awareness. This usually comes after years of various practices such as meditation, yoga, t’ai chi and qigong, for example. Whilst each of those practices has a different focus with various ways to deal with our internal energies, they are all about connecting to the body.
3- Nature and quiet time
The soul needs quiet and peace to be felt. Nature is a powerful reminder of where we come from and what our soul truly is. This isn’t just about trees but also about connecting with animals and the natural cycle of life. Not only will you then give yourself the breathing space for personal growth but also you’ll learn to appreciate that life is a journey and the present has so much to teach us about who we are, what we’re feeling and what we really need.
How Will You Find Your Connection?
We all need to find our own answers for living this life but hopefully these give you some ideas and some inspiration to connect to your body and soul. Only then can you live the natural life we were all designed for and find happiness and contentment by focusing on the present and letting go of all the stuff you can’t control in the future.
