Whilst I practice meditation, yoga and mindfulness every day, I still find myself caught in the grips of anxiety every morning. Mindfulness and psychology are key to understanding what’s happening in our minds in these situations. They can also give us tools and guidance for overcoming our stress in those scenarios. I would be so grateful for my mind to stop going through every possible scenario of what could go horribly wrong when I leave the house everyday. The house could burn down or venomous snakes could bite my dogs.

Of course meditation helps to calm our minds and to be more present. However, how can I use mindfulness and psychology to break the OCD habit of a lifetime of checking everything? Every morning, I make a physical inventory of the house and garden and ‘safe-proof’ it by moving things into place or checking behind flower pots. Even my dogs watch me going back and forth over and over again with that look “she’s checking again”… you have to laugh at that. Sometimes though, it’s so bad that I don’t even want to leave the house.

Awareness and Higher Power

So, how can I combine mindfulness, the practice of awareness, with psychology, the study of the human mind, to help me break that OCD ritual? As a friend once said, “you’ve done the best you can and if something goes wrong, you’re not to blame”. Perhaps that’s mindfulness, meditation and yoga all rolled into one and we should just have faith in the universal design. After all OCD revolves around doubt and guilt but perhaps we should try to share some responsibility with a higher power. We are simply human and can’t control everything – sometimes, life just happens.

Mindfulness and Psychology – Just be 

Mindfulness helps us just ‘be’ and not think about the past nor worry about the future. Being aware of our actions at that moment means that we will remember the key moving in the lock or the gas knob being turned off. Perhaps this ‘being’ can be strengthened by understanding what’s happening our brains.

Anxiety is linked to fear which is a natural response from a small gland in the front of the brain called the amygdala. Chemicals get released to help us either run or freeze in the face of danger. These chemicals can build up if not released and increase our heart rates and make us hyper vigilant. This is stressful and scary which also blinds us from what is really happening around us. We should really just be observing without judgement.

Positive Psychology

But psychology really kicks in, I believe, with the relatively new field of positive psychology which has grown over the last few decades. Examples such as looking for things to be grateful for, transforming negative self-talk, being honest about your strengths and weaknesses and remembering the bigger picture all help take us out of our ‘loop of darkness’. 

1- Self-Compassion

Being kind to ourselves when all we feel are doubt and guilt will help ease the feelings of distress and remind us that “I did the best I could”. Here is a great link for guided meditation.

2- Practice Practice Practice … Don’t be afraid to get support and help 

This sounds obvious and is most likely the hardest one especially as we can’t usually do this alone. Not only do we have to practice but we also have to become vulnerable. We need to let others in so that we can share with them and help ourselves stay on track. It’s too easy to relapse and give into the anxiety or even that bottle calling out to us. A trained therapist might be important for many of us in these cases. 

3- Positive Self-Talk

In my case, my OCD is entrenched in my lack of self-esteem. Therefore, being compassionate to myself and reminding myself that I can trust myself is key. It’s important to believe in your actions and that, yes, you did turn off the gas.  You are worthy and good enough and responsible that these things will be done safely. And that the little amygdala gland can just ‘shut up’.

4- Courage and Sit with the Emotion: Fear

I’ve read many times that being brave is not about having no fears. It’s about doing things despite that fear. This is very true with OCD. We have huge fears that various scenarios will come true. The trick is to resist the urge to do the ritual and instead sit with the fear. Slowly your brain will get bored and forget the anxiety. And then, over time our brains re-write themselves as we realise that our fears never materialise. In fact, this is true of every emotion. The more we sit with the emotions, the good and the bad, then the easier it becomes to not associate with them and to let them go.

5- Accept the things you cannot change

The thoughts will come and with time and practice, we learn to let them go and not be overwhelmed by them. Try to view them as just that: “thoughts” that are in fact harmless. Of course, this is easier said than done and it’s important to seek professional help if this all seems too much, which I have done on several occasions.