Ever had that “a-ha” moment? Ever thought, oh wow, I suddenly get it? Everything just clicks. It doesn’t matter what it is – it could be anything from finally understanding why self-care is important to suddenly seeing someone else’s viewpoint. Those moments usually happen when we let ourselves step outside of our minds. Stepping back and seeing something in a different way is one of the most powerful ways to let go of our issues or emotions. 

The Story-Telling Mind 

Each aha moment is an important clue to who we are. Our brains are very clever at telling stories to help us cut through the overload of information we are constantly being bombarded with. However, often those stories are very one-sided and viewed through the lens of our culture, ego or even our genes. What if we could view everything in a completely non-biased view? Perhaps we’d understand each other better, see each other’s suffering more easily and therefore have more compassion with others and ourselves. 

My Major Aha Moment

I’ve been lucky to have many aha moments. One of my major shifts was when I first separated from my husband. My natural defence was to not tell my parents and initially, I struggled to even explain to myself why. This motivated me to start reading and talking to others and the shift started. I realised I’d done it to protect myself from their judgement and manipulation. I needed to be emotionally stable to be able to deal with them. And then I saw it. My husband wasn’t just married to me – he was also married to my mother. And he was also expected to enable the narcissist, my father. 

My World Reality Skipped 

It’s such a strange feeling when the world almost skips a beat as it shifts to show you a different reality. It’s almost as if the colours and textures change. I then remembered that my ex-husband had tried to talk to me about this. He had tried to help me let go of being codependent with my mother. However, I had to see if for myself. No amount of telling me would make a difference. I was just going to be defensive. He helped lay out the path for me but I had to find it. Essentially, he laid out the little pieces of clues for me to find my way through the night. If you don’t find your own answers, you don’t believe in them and nor do you own them. 

Coaching 

Who am I to tell anyone how to live their life or what to believe in? I can only share my experiences in the hope that others might find their own light. This is very much what good coaches try to do. They are guides for people to find their own way. As the Australian writer, Patrick White, nicely states: “I forget what I was taught, I only remember what I learnt”.

We have to discover things on our own, with guidance, but not be told. And so I can’t give any answers but I can only offer tools and tips… i.e. clues. Also, the answers I do have might not necessarily be appropriate for others as we all have different circumstances. We all have different issues even if we do share the sufferings of the human condition. But we all have choice to do things differently or to want different things. Sometimes an impartial person can be the guide we need in order to enable us to make those different choices.