A useful metaphor came to mind when I was pondering why spirituality was important for me. Imagine being on a long, arduous journey. You’ve been following a difficult map with lots of twists and turns and very few signposts to help you. Something hasn’t felt right for a while but you can’t quite put your finger on it. The road and its turns don’t quite match the map but they almost do.

But then suddenly there’s a new twist. Everything is now vastly different and you realise you’ve been following the wrong map. It’s suddenly clear that you were following the wrong section of the map. But it’s ok. You now understand where you are and how to fix it. Your brain does this funny little gasp and then relaxes into the new map and everything feels comfortable again. That’s how I felt when I finally deeply understood what spirituality was and what it meant to me. As well as how it could guide me.  

If you’d asked me decades ago, I would have told you that being spiritual was all about being religious. I naturally linked the two words together because I was brought up in a very religious school. It was only when I started my journey of mindfulness and mediative yoga that I realised that spirituality was in all of us. However, we have to find the key to unlock it, if we wish. 

What is Spirituality? 

Essentially, first, spirituality is about feeling connected to all and everything around us, including nature. Secondly, it’s about connecting to something bigger than us, even if we can’t put words to it or even really conceptualise it. Thirdly, it’s about looking for meaning in life in something that contributes to all living beings, including nature. But there’s one thing that I think is often forgotten and is key to mindfulness and Buddhist teachings: kindness. This is often interlaced with compassion. The two words are slightly different with compassion being about about wishing someone well and being there for them. Kindness, on the other hand, is about doing something for someone with no expectations.

Why Spirituality is Important? 

1- Gaining Perspective and Peace 

Allowing ourselves to connect with each other and with nature means that we step away from the ego. We step away from being caught up in our stories and we think of others and other issues. Positive psychology takes this one step further. Psychologists in the field suggest altruism also enables us to lose the ego. We are that much closer to happiness by understanding the impact we can have on others around us.

According to the traditional teachings, our sufferings often lie in desire or aversion. However, if you’re in the presence of the awe of nature then you’ve usually forgotten about desire or aversion. You become aware of the present moment and everything else becomes unimportant. You have found a moment of peace. 

2- Wellness – Greater Awareness and Better Health 

There are 7 dimensions to wellness, as defined by Dr Bill Hettler in 1976, one of which is ‘spiritual wellness’. Through meditation, positive intentions and other tools, we can cultivate the core values of compassion, forgiveness, kindness and gratitude. Research has shown that these are more likely to make you happy than judgement or anger. Think about it, when did anger ever make you happy?

3- Deeper Appreciation of Life

Through spirituality we can gain a deeper view of the complexities of life. We can learn to understand how everything interacts and leads us to each moment. The complexities and paradoxes are both fascinating and beautiful and we can learn how to flourish within them. The most famous one is Einstein‘s “reality is an illusion”. Whilst that can be scary, it also opens up so many wonderful ways of viewing life if we just listen to each other. 

4- Kindness Engenders Kindness – Better Relationships 

Have you ever seen someone suddenly get into a rage for something that didn’t make sense to you and you responded kindly? What did they do? Did the wind come out of their sails? Did you now find yourself in an ‘adult’ conversation rather than in a fighting match?

It’s very hard to stay angry for any length of time when someone is talking to you kindly and with understanding. And we all have our struggles. Sometimes, simply asking someone about theirs can help them melt and become human again. You essentially help the other person feel safe again. However, unfortunately many of us are taught that being kind or ‘nice’ is weak. We are taught that we need to fight in this world. But where did that ever get us really? And if we can work through our differences with kindness whilst learning from each other, wouldn’t we all be happier? 

5- Happiness

Positive psychology is still relatively new, dating from the turn of this century. However, the field has taken many of these ideas, along with the philosophies of the old teachings, to try to understand how this all works. For example, happiness is not just about finding a purpose in life. It also involves developing a core belief of something bigger than us, of something deep within us all. Therefore spirituality becomes a core component of happiness. There is now emerging research telling us that spirituality even cultivates good health. This includes, for example, the use of mindfulness-based stress reduction courses and of course, meditation, to relieve stress. 

Clearly, none of this is easy because our brains are telling us that we want instant gratification and external rewards. And goodness knows I get it so wrong at times. However, we learn from those moments and with patience and practice it becomes easier. It is also a far more enriching experience of life in the long run. The power of support should not be underestimated. This can be through our social networks, counselling support groups or even coaching. 

In my next blog though, I’ll talk about some tips for becoming more spiritual so watch this space.