As I watched my dog pacing and panting and every now and again looking at me with wide eyes full fear because of the storm, I wondered when I’ve behaved like that. Fear is such a crippling emotion that we literally can’t think logically, nor can we help ourselves change the situation. Whilst fear is of course useful in many cases and cleverly alerts us to a threat, in this modern world, it is often less useful and generally translates into stress.
What can we do to Decrease our Fears and Anxieties for Overcoming Fear?
1- Face your Fears – Baby Steps
I never knew what that meant and I always had slightly amusing images of chatting with a woolly mammoth. However, I recently realised that it’s about sitting with your fear and feeling the emotion, not about facing the trigger. Emotions actually start in the body with a physiological response. They only become a story when our mind puts words around them.
The old philosophies tell us that mind and body are connected. However, it’s only through my most recent meditation practice that I have truly experienced this. I have now become aware of how much my heart rate increases as soon as I think “I’m going to leave the house”. I always assumed it was my mind creating the fear that something might happen to my dogs whilst I was out. But oh how much is that mind supported by its partner in crime … my body! However, feeling my heart rate and sensing the tension in my body actually helped me step away from my mind’s story. I could laugh at myself and realise how crazy it was to get so ‘worked up’, so to speak. I could feel the tension ooze away as I watched the fear melt.
2- Breathing – Slow down your heart rate
Of course all this works better with slow breathing. An increased heart rate usually goes hand in hand with faster and shallower breathing. Focusing on slowing down your breathing also has the added benefit that you are distracted from your anxiety. You actually start thinking only about your breathing. You’ve then forgotten all about your anxiety and overcoming your fear has suddenly happened. This takes practice though because the brain doesn’t let go of its stories that easily. It’s actually quite amazing how these can just pop straight back into your head just as easily as they disappeared.
3- Do the Best you Can – Accept the Consequences and Be Grateful for what you do have
It’s funny how our minds latch on to our emotions, in this case fear. Our minds create such wonderful and elaborate stories about how bad it could get. You can almost imagine the mind cackling with a witch’s laughter as it spins these stories into ever-thickening plots with great pride. Of course, it’s doing its job very well which is to protect us from all possible evil. But the enthusiasm is unfortunately a little excessive in this modern world where life-threatening scenarios are actually relatively rare.
Reframing your negative self-chat and reassuring your mind that things don’t usually get that bad is a great exercise. Consequences will be what they are and there is plenty of time to worry about them when, and if, they happen. In the meantime, focus on the present, do the best you can and practice developing positive scenarios, as well as gratitude and self-care, in response to your mind’s negativity. With time, you’ll see your mindset change for the better and overcoming your fear will get easier.
