It’s fascinating to me that I recently lost my 13 year old dog and somehow my anxiety has almost gone. I think his death has given me some perspective. It seems that my brain has also finally realised that of all the things that could have wrong, none of them did and yet, he still moved on. I can’t stop or change how the world works. However, I have to ask myself now if I really want to spend the little time that I do have in this world focused on anxiety? Unsurprisingly, I don’t. So what can we do to start managing anxiety? 

An Over-Inflated Sense of Responsibility

Some time ago, I read that people like me with OCD (obsessive compulsive disorder) have, and I quote, “an inflated sense of responsibility”. I never really understood that. OCD is a huge source of anxiety and I truly believed that I was simply worried about things going wrong. The OCD would make me check everything in the house, i.e. what I can control. It finally makes sense now though. Managing anxiety isn’t about control but it’s about accepting that we can’t control everything.

I am not responsible for how others die. My influence on the world can only really ever amount to small accidents at the worst. I can’t stop or change the cycle of life and death. It is both humbling and calming to realise that I’m just small speck in the space-time continuum we seem to currently find ourselves in. 

Anxiety and Heightened Fear

Of course anxiety takes many forms across a wide range and sometimes we need professional help. However, thanks to a gland in our brains called the amygdala and how it interacts with our other circuits, we develop a sense of fear. This has a very useful goal in that it helps us stay alive Unfortunately this fear is too heightened for today’s world where the likelihood of being eaten by a woolly mammoth is pretty slim. 

Whilst it can be useful to be wary of some situations and even some people, I used to wonder what would happen if you removed the amygdala. Let’s not forget that the brain is highly connected and not just a puzzle of blocks. Therefore, the amygdala is also responsible for regulating our other emotions which impacts how we behave with others. There are in fact interesting cases in history where people with damage to the amygdala have shown aggression, bullying and even abuse. Not something I would opt for. Instead let’s have a go at managing anxiety.

It seems that we are stuck with the brains we have in this very moment but there is hope. We now know that our brains can change and we can rewire our thoughts with practice and patience. We can get better at managing anxiety. I’m not saying it’s easy but the journey becomes the teacher. Bit by bit and little by little you find yourself seeing things differently, including yourself.

1- Distance yourself from Anxious People for Managing Anxiety

This might seem obvious but we do tend to mirror those around us. Not only do we have neurons in our brains that help us do that but it’s also how we are conditioned. This ability to imitate and empathise helps us learn and integrate into society.  And therefore, anxious people simply make us anxious. 

2- Live Life with the Knowledge of Death Round the Corner

Naturally I don’t wish anyone to experience the pain of losing someone they love. Perhaps simply becoming more aware of the fragility of life is enough. However, sometimes we do need a personal experience to shock us into change or realisation, unfortunately. 

There are some great journaling prompts for contemplating this thought though. For example, have a think about what you would do differently if today was your last day. You can also have a go at writing your obituary or simply a letter from your future self. Throughout these exercises, a core question is whether you are living everyday to your values.

3- Trick your Brain with a Natural Chemical Boost

This is probably one of my favourite things about the brain – we can trick it! What a relief. You can therefore motivate yourself by triggering your dopamine levels or reward circuits. Getting enough serotonin, your happy drug, or oxytocin, the love drug, will also make you happier. And let’s not forget endorphins. These little chemicals kick in when we exercise so that we don’t feel pain but you can also trigger them with, amazingly, dark chocolate. The picture below summarises it all very nicely and, what’s more, you’ll get no come-down 😉 

4- Sit with your Emotions for Managing Anxiety

Certain therapy treatments include exposure to our fear or anxiety triggers. Personally, that just reminds me of scenes from psychiatric hospitals in the 1900s. I can’t think of anything worse. Why the ‘stick-approach’ anyway? I much prefer a compassionate and mindful approach. However, please remember that I’m not a doctor and different things will work for different people.

Perhaps it’s only a slight variation of the same theme but I would encourage sitting with the emotion. Being present and mindful with something usually lessens its impact. Throughout this process we also learn a bit more about how our minds are interpreting the emotions. With time, we can gradually step back and ‘watch’ these emotions come and go. Journaling is a great tool to help with this as is being mindful.

Bit by bit we then discover that we can listen to our bodies and what they need. Suddenly eating healthier food ad getting more sleep becomes easier. It’s a journey but each day gets easier and then one day you wake up and realise you’ve changed.

5- Talk About It

For years I was ashamed of my anxiety and OCD. Through mindfulness, I learnt that we all have varying degrees of it and that we can even laugh about it if we choose to. In fact, we do actually all have a choice. We can give into anxiety, which, paradoxically, feels easier, or we can follow a different approach. We can choose mindfulness or self-care or professional help. Either way, talking about it and accepting is a huge step forwards. 

Another humbling truth is that all these issues only get worse as we grow older. If we don’t do something now, our final days could be terrifying. It is sad to watch my grandmother approach her end in such fear and anxiety. It’s almost comical if it wasn’t so tragic.

There is Hope

The good news though is that even a little bit of work on ourselves goes a long way. You’ll be surprised at how quickly the brain learns and adapts. Before you know it, you’ll be able to pause a little bit more and your emotions will be less scary. Managing your anxiety becomes easier with your brain hacks. You’ll have a little bit more inner peace and wisdom. Of course you’ll face loops and turns in your journey but in the end, you’ll be grateful. After all, you will have lived.