What is Resilience?

I used to think that resilience was about hiding emotions and putting on a brave face. However, I have since learned that resilience is in fact not about being cold and closed. It is about being open and feeling our emotions, however strong and frightening they are. Resilience is about bouncing back and coming out just as strong after setbacks and disasters and accepting the new reality. Being resilient is just like dogs bouncing back and adapting, so we can learn to do the same and be happier with our lives.

Life is unfortunately full of setbacks. Resilient people learn from disasters and traumas and move on with their new reality without becoming victims, just like dogs bouncing back. On the contrary, resilience is about being positive and optimistic. It is also about being able to communicate, problem solve and set goals to get through setbacks (PsyhologyToday). For me, my biggest challenge was to learn to feel and to manage my emotions.    

Resilience in Dogs

The more time I spend with dogs, the more I realise that they portray resilience in the most inspiring way. They way they bounce back with wagging tails after the loss of a limb is incredible. My most recent case is with 2 females that we brought into the rescue shelter for castration to avoid them turning into puppy making machines. Not only is this painful but can be dangerous for the dog. Also, many dogs will eventually start rejecting their puppies after too many litters.  

2 Inspiring Bitches

Initially, and understandably, the 2 females were scared and confused at being taken away from their home environment. They were strays that had befriended some temple monks and were happy roaming the temple lands and generally being free. The contrast with the shelter compounds must have been terrifying. I would give anything to be able to explain that it’s only for a few days and also for their safety and general health. However, the only thing we can realistically give them is kindness and care. 

3 days later and after spending time with them every day, I was rewarded with wagging tails and loving eyes. They now jump up at their gate with big grins when they hear my voice. I’m touched that I’ve helped give them some moments of happiness. They have now also become friends and happily play with each other. A great example of being resilient and these 2 beautiful dogs bouncing back 😀

To me, this is the best example of resilience. They could have decided to remain victims, huddled in their corners and trying to bite or fight everyone. Instead, they chose to be resilient by accepting kindness, embracing their new environment, reaching out to each other and becoming friends. A clear example of dogs bouncing back.

Of course, I can’t actually to bring them back to their homes and watch their reaction and happiness … 

Tips to Be More Resilient

And can we apply this to ourselves?! Of course we can:

1- Learn to accept the new reality and be curious. Just like a dog sniffs out a new area, so we should also learn the new opportunities that might exist 

2- Reach out to others and develop a social network as a support group. You should have people around you that you can trust and talk to 

3- Live in the present and feel your emotions. This was always the toughest one for me and I used meditation to help me learn to feel my emotions. It also helped me observe them without judgement and to learn to let them go. Just like everything else, emotions are fleeting and will pass if we don’t identify with them and cling on to them as a proof of our victimhood 

4- Finding a purpose is clearly also tough and usually involves a journey. These dogs have a purpose to live and to find happiness. So also can find our purpose that will make the tough times easier to handle. I’ll share more my personal story about this one in a separate post. 

5- Seek help if need be. Of course, sometimes disasters and challenges are monumental. It is always ok, and a good idea, to talk to professional help.