Did you wear your power suit this morning as you ‘commuted’ from your bedroom to your spare room or kitchen table? If you’re anything like me you probably opted for something respectable on top and then shorts or tracky-bums on the bottom. After all, if you’re working from home like many of us are then who cares what you’re wearing underneath the video? 

We live in clothes and of course there are some very practical reasons, including to keep us warm and safe. No one wants to fall off a motorbike without leather pads to protect our knees. Also, dare I say it, these days, many of us are facing the choice of disposable versus cloth face masks. Regardless of why you’re wearing particular clothes though, there’s an interesting link between our bodies and our emotions where clothes impact emotions in a big way.

Emotions and the Body 

Most of us live in our heads and our thoughts. We often forget that we have a body attached to that head of ours. In truth though, our bodies feel our emotions with lots of different chemicals reactions going on inside. When we’re scared, our fight or flight instinct might flare up. This accelerates our heart rate, can create hot flushes and even make our skin tingle. Our minds though, create a story to go with those reactions which can lead to anxiety and long-term stress. Alternatively, the more we can connect to what’s happening in the body then the more we can create a distance. We are then better able to stop the horror story from growing in our minds. 

These days, we know that the body remembers trauma. A simple trigger such as a dog barking could set your heart racing in memory of a dog attack. This happens before your mind has even realised what’s happening. Next thing you know and you’ve become an anxious mess because your mind is receiving signals from the body and assuming something bad is happening. If you could pause and listen to your body first though. You would then be in a better position to calm the mind before it has time to assume the worst. 

Now imagine how clothes might feel good on your skin. Perhaps they’re soft or warm and cosy. Whatever it is, could pleasant sensations on your skin make you feel good and less anxious about what’s going on around you? Of course I’m not saying that they can fix our fears and trauma. However, perhaps they can help make us feel good. They can also serve as an anchor when you get lost in your thoughts. During those times, you can go back to focusing on the feel of the material on your skin. Suddenly you’re in the present moment again without worrying about the past or the future. Essentially, you’re listening to your skin. Go on, I challenge you to try. 

How Clothes Impact Emotions 

Have you ever had that sinking feeling when you walk into a room and you’re either ridiculously over-dressed or embarrassingly under-dressed? We suddenly become the imagined target of everyone’s judgement and criticism. Although, our inner voice does that criticising thing pretty well too. 

For years, I used to wear those power suits as a mask. I was hiding my weaknesses in a highly competitive environment that didn’t allow failure. Talk about a hit to my self-esteem. Shouldn’t we just be happy with who we are and what we have to offer without playing games? Naturally that’s easier said than done because our brains are designed to play games. 

Having said that, if you’re grounded, having faced your inner demons, then you’ll find that the need to play games gradually disappears. You accept that some situations require people who are different to you where you wouldn’t fit in and that’s ok. On the flip side, there are places and people who need you for who you are with the skills you have to offer. 

And Identity 

Fashion psychology is a relatively new field but I think most of us know by instinct that clothes affect how we feel. You could actually say that clothes don’t just impact emotions. They also portray our identity and how we present ourselves to the world. When people tell you that you look good, do you shy away or does it boost your confidence? That in itself tells you a lot about your self-esteem. 

If like me you spent years working through codependency then you might relate when I say that I used to wear my mother’s clothes. I then went through a phase of wearing nothing but black because I was so confused where my identity started and my mother’s ended. With time though, I started enjoying wearing clothes that told people who I was and what I liked. I love colours and being bold. I am after all an extrovert and I love being quirky.

So how can you use clothes to get to know yourself and build some confidence to be happy with who you are regardless of what others think? 

1- Track the emotions that different clothes trigger and learn about what uplifts you 

There’s a great tool called the Wheel of Emotion or Feelings that has all the useful words to describe emotions. You can practice using a new one each day for example based on what you’re wearing. You might be surprised at your vocabulary for emotions because many of us are never taught to talk about them. Furthermore, you even might start seeing how your emotions are linked to your self-esteem.

2- Try out new clothes with new people or different scenarios 

Working through understanding your emotions and what makes you feel good is a great start but what about in practice? What about trying out different clothes that you might not normally wear? Yes, I realise that might sound terrifying. I remember it took me ages to play around with hats and yet, I’d always wanted. What stopped me? What stops you? Be bold and choose something you never wear but always wished you did. Why not?

If it’s a bit scary doing this with people you know then take yourself out for a coffee or a meal. Spending quality time alone is a great way to connect with ourselves and to start appreciating who we are. Even if it’s awkward at first, you’ll soon grow to love it. And then, you really can wear whatever you want because no one knows what you normally wear.

3- Be creative and play with the different identities that clothes offer you

Creativity has been linked to happiness, as has playfulness, and clothes offer such a great platform for this. Think about colours, materials, layers and accessories. How whacky or funky do you want to get? Then again, maybe you do just want to stick to comfy and easy-going. I’ll confess though that after years of dressing up for various things, I’m very happy now in my daily outfit of shorts and flip-flops. The best part is that no one can see them below my laptop screen.

What are you going to choose? 

Whether you’re deciding on new clothes, modifying old clothes or even new face masks, where are you going to start? Learn to listen to your body and how it connects to how your clothes impact your emotions. You’ll soon feel more connected and grounded. Best of all, you’ll have a lot more fun and you’ll get to know how to boost your mood.